home is where the heart is

So this weekend we headed over the mountains to Denver to attend a graduation party and Father's Day with the inlaws and it really got me thinking how much I miss Denver. At the party, I saw many of my favorite former students, students who I was very close to--girls that I coached who would hang out after practice and even after the season to talk with me, girls(now young women) who still email and text me. I am not that same teacher anymore. Moving to Grand Junction and starting a new teaching job gave me some distance--I did not have to be the hyper involved new teacher anymore, I could take time to find my place. Having a baby gave me even more distance, I love my job but my priorities are different--I don't take everything so life or death stress level serious. I am still connected to my students but in a more measured way. But part of me misses the teacher that I was.

And I miss the big city life. On Sunday, I met a friend at a great park playground to play--a playground that was close to a pond that we could have paddle boated on, a playground with SHADE!, a playground surrounded by miles of walking paths and gardens. And I chose that over the zoo. I miss the funky little restaurants and fun things to do that Denver has. And I miss the network of friends that I had. In 7 years, I had built up a network that was more than just the people I teach with. I know that making friends and building that back up takes time--and I love my friends here--it is just different.

I miss being close to family, we chose to move away and live away from both sets of parents. But it would be really nice to get a couple of hours, a night, or even a weekend away together without a baby. And without family around that seems next to impossible.

I thought I would be over this move by now, it has been over 3 years. Maybe it was just a lack of sleep on vacation, or getting to eat at some favorite restaurants, or driving by old haunts? (And I didn't even have time to shop!) Anyone else ever feel this way?

Now that we are looking into buying a home, it seems more permanent. And I fully believe in the sentiment that home is where the heart is. And I know I love our life here and want to raise Elle here, but sometimes I just wish for a little more.