Monday, July 26, 2010

At peace...

So 2 weeks and 3 days have past since Elle entered our lives and things have been wild. When we got pregnant, I thought of a future 9 months down the road of a peaceful baby nursing at my breast after a natural (or maybe assisted by an epidural) delivery. Well things didn't go as planned--my doctor discovered I had an ovarian cyst that was quite large that would need to be removed surgically, and then Elle was in breech position and then she was not, but then we had to decide. So we went with a scheduled C-Section so the cyst could be removed instead of waiting it out. Then she was born and things seemed to be going as smoothly as they can with a new baby. Then we took her in because I was having trouble breastfeeding only to discover she had dropped 8 ounces to only 5 pounds. After a scary couple days and a lot of soul searching we decided to move to feeding her formula. A decision I never thought I would make. All along we planned on breastfeeding and my husband thanked me daily for breastfeeding her but it just wasn't possible for us. Now as I rock with Elle in my arms, I am at peace because I know she is eating and gaining weight and she is happy. I know it is a cliche to say nothing ever goes as planned and you have to roll with it, but you do and in the end only you can make decisions as a family and find the peace you need. I was so lucky to have the support of so many friends and family and nurses as we struggled together and still have the support regardless of our decisions. Life is good!

No comments: